Have you ever;
Cut off all trust with another human being?

It’s an empty feeling, really, to make yourself cynical. To actually hate. To not confide in anyone aside from a possible household pet. It’s unhealthy for the mind, too. This burning disliking eats away at the other emotions, putting negative images into them, imprinting that pain into it. So when you feel happy about something, that memory sends you hurtling straight back into that dark place and you refuse to fight it because you think it’s won. That is its goal; to make you hurt, to kill you on the inside so you constantly have to endure that corrosive lump in your chest as if you are to burst into tears.

And when someone questions you? You get angry.  You lash out,  aiming to hurt them as much as you’re hurting on the inside, so they can at least understand why you want no part in this time of your life. And perhaps even life itself. The struggles, the hurt, the sorrow, it’s so much to deal with! It’s hard! Humans need to believe in something to feel at peace, but you’ve lost that belief.  Humanity always seems to double back on the negatives, just as you have now. Is there any hope for this? Do you worry about what will happen to you in the future? Some do, some don’t. But, everyone has to admit- No one likes being angry at life. No one likes that “alone” feeling. No one likes the dark side of things. Only truly morbid people find no happiness in life.

But then, something amazing comes across the hurting, sorrowful ones. Something that absolutely astonishes them. Whether it be another person,  a hobby, or a sight. It astounds them, sparking their curiosity. Only when they decide to pursue this curious emotion is when the dark veil starts to lift away, and ultimately exposes this new emotion. Love. Passion. Infatuation. It sparks, starting out dull like an ember. But soon engulfs all atrocious memories or feelings. It shoos them away, lighting the end of the tunnel for that abyssal-like pain. But hear this; Love doesn’t destroy all pain and sorrow. It will always be there, always nagging at strong moments. But it is tamed. Not a wild beast running rampant in the mind. You get back your social side again, your inner peace.

Never be afraid to start over, to love again, or to befriend strangers. Don’t let the dark back in. Keep that door closed. It’s okay to peek in it at times, but to allow it to open would mean destruction to the body. Pain for the soul. Keep the ones that make you smile close to your heart, the moments that make you laugh close to reach. Forget about the bad, let in the new.

~Casey D. `09